Lately I’ve been doing something that I call Adult Dating. It’s where I go out with a guy and we have an actual conversation, get to know each other, I don’t get drunk and we don’t sleep together at the end. Most people just call that dating but you probably know by now I’m not most people.
I’ve never done much of this kind of thing. I jumped from being in a 5 year relationship in my early 20’s right into being a slut. The relationships that I ended up in were by accident, one night stands that kept coming back. I once berated a guy I randomly hooked up with for sending me flowers the day after. What kind of girl did he think I was?! (Some of you who used to read my old blog might remember that post and what happened after he found it. Eek.)
The ones that stuck around usually ended up moving in. Immediately. I’m not really sure how that happened so often but not long after my extra closet was filled is when I would find out that we were not very compatible. Maybe I shouldn’t have spent most of the relationship drunk or paid more attention.
But now I’m 35 and trying this new thing called Growing Up*. I’ve finally realized that the whole Getting to Know You process is very important. Now, instead of waiting till we’re neck deep in the relationship, I find out up front whether or not he’s against gun control or obsessed with Celine Dion. That way I don’t have to lie later and tell him I’m moving to Yemen. (15 Yemen Rd, Yemen.**)
So far so good. I’ve gone out a couple of times with a guy who seems fairly normal-ish. I think I’ve talked and listened more in 2 dates than I did in the whole of my last relationship and he’s been interesting and pretends to hear what I’m saying pretty well. He has even gotten a taste of my sense of humor and he hasn’t run away …yet. We’ll see.
*It’s probably not that grown up of me when I pretend I’m Blair from Gossip Girl and try to figure out if the guy I’m dating is more a Chuck, Dan or The Prince, is it? But I totally do it!
**Please tell me you get this reference.