Coexist bumper stickers. Keep in mind, this is coming from the girl that asks for World Peace for Christmas. I know these things are supposed to be all about love and harmony and all that bullshit but I really hate that your car, if you can call a Prius a car, is telling me what to do. Go fuck yourself, car. I’m going to hate people just because you told me not to. AND THE STAR OF DAVID LOOKS NOTHING LIKE AN X!!
People who back in to parking spots. I don’t get it. It takes you longer to back into a parking space than it does to back out of one so you’re not saving any time. What you’re saying is you have all the time in the world when you first get to a place but need that extra 2 seconds to make a quick getaway when you leave? That’s suspicious. People who back into parking spaces should be investigated for illegal activity.
Talking on the phone. Do you know why they invented the text message? So we wouldn’t have to speak to each other. I don’t even text words anymore. If it’s not a Someecard relaying a message close to what I want to say to you then it’s a gif of a cat waving. This is how I communicate now. Get used to it and stop insisting we talk. Talking is SO 2009.
That guy. You know, the one that everyone loves? I hate that guy. He’s nice, he’s sweet, he’s handsome. He compliments and notices when you’ve bought something new. There’s something wrong that guy and chances are we’re all going to find out what it is when it’s too late. Just remember, everyone thought Ted Bundy was charming, too.