10 reasons why I’m not an adult

3 Apr

1.) I get my groceries from the gas station. In my defense, it is a nice gas station. They have hotdogs on that rolly thing and flavored coffee.

2.) The other day I thought, “If I had a kid I could name it None of Your Business so when people asked what his name was he could say it and everyone would think he’s rude!!” I might have been intoxicated at the time. I still think it’s a good idea.

3.) I like Ke$ha. A lot. For real.

4.) I have sucked my thumb since I was born and will continue to do so until the day I die.

5.) A good majority of my underwear are covered in cartoon characters: Oscar the Grouch, Sesame Street, Cookie Monster, Animal, Angry Birds, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Superman.

6.) If I don’t have clean underwear sometimes I wear bathing suit bottoms.

7.) Last weekend was considered productive because I got my hair re-toned in the pink and red and sent an email requesting a consultation for my new tattoo. I didn’t get a tattoo. I didn’t get a consultation. I just sent an email and I put that in the win column.

8.) Renewing my passport has been on top of my priority list since it expired…in 1999.

9.) Tupperware doesn’t last around here because, instead of washing them, I just throw them away.

10.) I have Disney’s 1951 version of Alice in Wonderland on my phone and watch it all the time. My ringtone is The Walrus and the Carpenter. I really wish they made Alice in Wonderland underwear.

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2 Responses to “10 reasons why I’m not an adult”

  1. Melissa April 3, 2013 at 12:17 pm #

    Some of my favorite places were gas stations when I worked on the road…Wawa, Buc-ee’s, etc. Ke$ha is awesome when working out & randomly dancing in my Batman underwear.

    • Kimmy April 3, 2013 at 1:31 pm #

      The gas station really has all the essentials – milk, cereal, Coke, and cigarettes. What more does one need?

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